Sex Designed for So Much More than “Sex”
“Some balls are held for charity / And some for fancy dress / But when they’re held for pleasure / They’re the balls that I like best / My balls are always bouncing / To the left and to the right / It’s my belief that my big balls / Should be held every night” – “Big Balls” by AC/DC
Big Balls
AC/DC released “Big Balls” in 1976. I was in first grade and while I was not aware of words like satire, irony, and double entendre, the wit and creativity spoke to my young sense of humor and I would laugh when the song played. The next year a top sitcom, “Three’s Company,” aired and for eight seasons I was immersed in the world of flirtation and sexual innuendos. By 1979, the image of woman as an executive earning big bucks while caring for the family during the day and satisfying her husband in the bedroom at night (YouTube “Enjoli” perfume commercial) was seared in my mind and I knew I wanted to be this type of woman – a woman who could do it all, be it all, and have it all!
Good Girl, Bad Girl
It was also around that time that my own sexuality found expression in games of “Doctor” that eventually turned into games I no longer wanted to play. Was I a “good” girl or a “bad” girl? If one could only have a “Sweet 16” party if she was a virgin, did I qualify? Then again, why could boys make out with whoever they wanted but girls got a bad reputation and called ugly names? The 70’s saw political, social, and economic protections for women unprecedented anywhere in the world. Roe v. Wade even made it possible for women to legally erase the consequences of their sexuality by allowing them to seek abortions.
By college I discovered erotica and began writing my own. I have said on many occasions that I have never wanted to write a book – I mis-spoke. In the late 80s, early 90s I considered writing erotica but I was not comfortable attaching my name to something which for my generation was still not acceptable – a woman to enjoy sex and actively seek it. While I rejected all the psychology and research that indicated a sexually abused girl will very often attempt to gain control over an area of her life in which she had no control by engaging in promiscuity and sexually risky behaviors, a part of me wondered if I was missing something important when it came to sex and what it was supposed to mean.
…But the music….
Oh how I love the music! “Let’s Get It On” Marvin Gaye (1973), “Love To Love You Baby” Donna Summers (1975), “SuperFreak” Rick James (1981), “Like a Virgin” Madonna (1984), “I Want Your Sex” George Michael (1987), “Shook Me All Night Long” AC/DC (1980), “Sexual Healing” Marvin Gaye (1982), “I Want To F*&% You Like An Animal” Nine Inch Nails (1994), “Shake That As#” Eminem (2005), “Animals” Maroon 5 (2014)
We live in a society that has been and continues to be so sexualized, we sing words like “Baby, I’m preying on you tonight. Hunt you down eat you alive. Just like animals, animals, like animals. Maybe you think that you can hide. I can smell your scent from miles. Just like animals, animals. So what you trying to do to me. It’s like we can’t stop we’re enemies. But we get along when I’m inside you. You’re like a drug that’s killing me. I cut you out entirely, but I get so high when I’m inside you.” Because we have placed sex in the realm of animals, and even embraced a lie that we are equal to animals, we have completely missed the higher purpose of our sexuality. We can’t even fathom a Divine Design for sex which would allow us to experience abundant happiness in the most intimate recesses of our body, soul, and spirit.
I’m excited to walk this journey with you as we unveil the practical and research-based information on how to achieve that which we all desire for ourselves and others – to be “happy”. We discover that happiness is attainable and, better yet, sustainable, as long as one is willing to do the work. In my book “The Happiness Formula”, I dive into each element in detail. Order your copy of “The Happiness Formula”, click here and subscribe to my YouTube Channel (click here) for continued insights and updates into HAPPINESS. Thank you for your support!
Kasandra Vitacca Mitchell
Kasandra Vitacca Mitchell is an Author, Speaker, Coach of Wealth & Happiness with a mission to bring research, wisdom, and authenticity to others via “The Happiness Formula.”
